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Answering the prayer of a little girl’s heart

July 6, 2009

I was just commenting to someone last week that it seemed as if we had not had as many grieving tears lately – especially from Beza (she’s the one that shows the most emotion about leaving Ethiopia and Grammy behind).

Well I’m not sure exactly what set it off (although I’m sure it was exacerbated by lack of sleep) but last night the tears were flowing. She even told me she wanted to go back to Ethiopia and not come back. (I knew she didn’t really mean it, so I didn’t take it personally.) We have told her before that we would love to take her and Wendemagegn back to Ethiopia some time but it is very expensive and so we’re not sure when we will be able to do that. Her concern is that Grammy will die before she gets to see her again.

So I was comforting her the best I could. I asked if she maybe wanted to write a letter or draw a picture for Grammy tomorrow and she said “No, it’s not the same. I want to SEE Grammy.” So we prayed that God would keep Grammy healthy until Beza and Wendemagegn could see her again, that we would be able to have the money to make a trip to Ethiopia sometime “soon” and that he would help Beza not to be sad.

I finally left the girls room only to hear her calling me a few minutes later to come back up. When I got up there she was trying to figure out how to stick a picture of Grammy on the wall next to the nightlight by her bed so she could see it. So we taped it up there. Then Natalie asked if she could sleep with Beza so she wouldn’t be sad (isn’t she sweet). So we compromised by throwing all the blankets and pillows on the floor and they slept together.

This morning as I was scarfing down breakfast I grabbed by Blackberry to scan my emails. There in my inbox was an email from the family friend in Ethiopia. Attached were 4 WONDERFUL professional pictures of Grammy and the kids half sister Mesret. I totally got chills at how God answers Beza’s prayer. I know it wasn’t exactly what Beza meant when she said “SEE” Grammy but what a wonderful reminder that God cares about what is in her heart. He sent us a visible reminder that Grammy is well.

She is a beautiful woman and to me embodies so many things including courage and selfless love.

Grammy

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Humble Beginnings

June 23, 2009

JBUDuplex

Several weeks ago my in-laws were in Arkansas and they snapped this picture.

THIS is where we, as 20/21 year old newlyweds, made house for the very first time on the campus of John Brown University. Just for clarification, see where those two air conditioner units are? That’s were our apartment ended and another began. It was a duplex. That whole apartment could probably fit in my living room now. It had a bedroom, bathroom, family room and kitchen.

It had indoor/outdoor carpet, stained linoleum, windows that rattled and MICE. We filled it with a mish-mash of furniture from our own bedrooms and the thrift store. We bought a used refrigerator for $50. I think the only new thing in it was the couch that my parents bought for a wedding present…and all our lovely wedding presents.

We were actually fortunate that it was one of the “renovated” units. That meant a fresh coat of paint and new “carpet”. It was on the edge of campus, for which I was grateful when I stumbled home at 3 or 4 a.m. after putting the college newspaper to bed on Wednesday nights.

Best of all, it was paid for. Our academic, ROTC and newspaper editor scholarships were enough to cover the rent and electric bill as well as our tuition bill.

Times were simpler. We lived on about $450 a month – $200 a month from my part time job; $150 from Mark’s work study job and $100 from his ROTC stipend. That paid for the gas bill, groceries, car insurance, car payment, gas and whatever else we needed. Emphasis on “needed”. We lived on Hamburger Helper, grilled burgers, and Mac N Cheese. We learned to be happy with less.

We cuddled on the couch and watched Saturday Night Live. We had our first big fight because, in my effort to clean off the kitchen table piles, I threw away a catalog – THE catalog that had the boots he wanted to order on sale. It’s funny now, not so funny at the time. We learned never to walk out during a fight.

“Vacations” meant driving the 17 hours home to Arizona and crashing at the parents house. We loved being there but loved going “home” more. We learned what it meant to leave our family and become our own family.

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Swimming

June 6, 2009

A pretty constant question since the kids arrival has been “When we go swimming?” I’ve quizzed them a bit on their swimming experience which has pretty much been nil. I think Wen has been in some sort of water hole before (I can only imagine the water) but I’m pretty sure he could stand up.

I signed them up for swim lessons a couple weeks ago but they don’t start until the middle of June. I put Wen & Beza in level 1 and was told that I can move them up if I found out they know more than I think they know.

Last week we finally had the opportunity to go swimming at a friend’s house (how I long for a pool in our backyard :-) Noah is a decent swimmer on his own. Natty still requires floaties to be independent although she does a pretty good job at gliding short distances. I’m hoping by the end of the summer she’ll be able to be on her own.

I also bought floaties for Beza and Wen. We got in the pool (along w/ my friends 4 kids). I told Wen & Beza to stay on the steps while I was getting Natalie’s floaties on. I wasn’t sure how well the floaties would hold them up since they weigh about 10 lbs more than she does. Well before I know it Wen has stepped off and is behind me (within arms length) sputtering and flailing his arms. I quickly grabbed him and pulled him toward me. I truly think that if he had stopped flailing and relaxed he was probably in an area where he could have stood up. But he was getting mouthfuls of water from his efforts to stay afloat.

So, needless to say, he completely freaked himself out about the water. He spent the rest of the day inside the pink float ring. I took him out a couple of times to show him how to float on his back but he was so tense that he couldn’t get his body to really relax despite the fact that I was still holding on to him.

Beza did much better. After about 40 minutes she was jumping off the side, going under the water, popping back up and slowly propelling herself toward the side of the pool. She had a blast. They haven’t really gotten the kicking/arm movements down so they move pretty slow in the pool.

Now Wen keeps telling everyone “I need preschool swim lessons!”

swimming

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Summer Reading

June 5, 2009

If you’re looking for a great book to read this summer here’s one you should add to your list.

Below is the review I wrote for Amazon.com

Last night I dreamed of a far away land. A land with a sun like a “giant ball of orange fire” and a sky like a “deep blue bowl filled with magical, milky fairy dust”. So enthralled was I with Davis’ novel that I dreamt that night of the beautiful but desperate land of orphan Adanna. It continues to follow me a week later. Davis weaves a fascinating, yet hauntingly real, story of Adanna and Stuart, giving us a unique perspective into the life of the people of Swaziland.

As Stuart is challenged to examine his view of the world, so is the reader as they dive deep into Adanna’s story.

Davis’ personal passion for orphans and Africa is evident. As a fan of his non-fiction books (”Fields of the Fatherless” and “Red Letters”) I eagerly anticipated his first fiction work. “Scared” did NOT disappoint and will be a book I read again and again.

BUY THE BOOK

VISIT THE WEB SITE

Posted in Help the Orphans | 2 Comments »

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First Big School Project

June 1, 2009

I’m not sure how, but so far we had escaped the big school projects. But toward the end of April the 3rd and 4th grade did a “Living Wax Museum”. Each kid got to pick a historical figure to do a report on. They were to write a one page report and then they also had to create a display/presentation board. Then they had a Living Wax Museum night for all the parents and grandparents to come to. The kids were encouraged to dress up in costume and  they stood by their displays while the adults wandered around and read them.

I was so glad that the teachers gave us lots of lead time (like 5 weeks) and very specific instructions on what to include. We started way early and worked a bit at a time so that we weren’t rushed at the last minute. Noah chose Billy Sunday. Have to admit that I had never heard of him. Turns out he was a baseball player AND an evangelist.

Wendemagegn chose Martin Luther King Jr. Well, what we found out at dinner one night was that Noah said “Hey, Wendemagegn, you should pick Martin Luther King Jr.” and somehow that’s what he ended up with him. I chose not to go into the “Just because he’s black doesn’t mean he has to pick MLK, African American history is not the same as African history” thing at that moment.

I tried to help them as minimally as I could. Obviously Wen required more help than Noah. Reading comprehension is still a big issue so even after reading a one page web site about MLK it didn’t make much sense to him. So we would read a bit and then talk it through. By the end he was able to put together the content of his report and then I helped him a bit with grammar. As a writer/editor it is REALLY hard not to rewrite stuff but I think I did a pretty good job of staying out of it.

They both got A’s on their reports and looked pretty spiffy in their suits. (All from the thrift store w/ no more than about $17 being spent!).

waxmuseum

I wished I had pictures of the other kids. Not surprisingly, the majority of the boys seemed to be baseball players or someone who had something to do with guns :-)

Posted in Our Family, Post-Adoption | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments »

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Thinking Back

May 30, 2009

I was going through the pictures on my computer the other day and found this one…

courtpass

This text message stayed on my phone for about a month after we passed court last November. I finally thought to take a picture of it for the kids scrapbooks.

Our court date was the day after Thanksgiving. I took my cell phone to bed with me that night in case Grace called or sent me a text. I slept better than I thought I would but every time I woke I glanced at it – no news. Until about 6:30. Mark had left to hit the post-thanksgiving sales so I had to tell him the news via phone. Then I that and sat about who I could call at that hour of the day. Luckily Kristen is on the East Coast so I knew she would be up. And I knew Stacey was at the early bird sales so I could reach her as well. I had mercy on the others in our lives and waited a couple of hours to wake them with a phone call.

In a way I was shocked that we passed on our first try. It was a particularly difficult time in the courts and there were many not passing until 3rd or 4th tries. First tries were almost unheard of. On the other hand passing meant a greater chance of traveling with Dustin and Jen and I just couldn’t imagine God bringing us this close to that prayer and not having it come true.

My prayers go out to all the waiting families. There has been some upheaval in the Ethiopian court system again. This time having to do with abandoned children. In the long run it is God because the government is being very careful to make sure that adoptions are happening the way they are supposed to and people are not taking advantage of the system. But the waiting is hard on those parents who desperately long to have that child in their arms.

Posted in The Process | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment »

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Expanding the food horizons

May 29, 2009

Food issues are SOOOO much better after being home 5 months. They will eat about 98% of what we fix. They continue to surprise me and I’ve learned not to give up on something just because they don’t like it once. For example, green beans have been the one vegetable they both did not like AT ALL. A few times I’ve served them anyways and made them eat a small helping…like 6 beans…which they did with much Berbere and lots of faces. So for a while I just stopped fixing them. They eat corn, broccoli, carrots, and potatoes so I felt like I had plenty to work with. Well two nights ago I decided to fix them again. We had some left over broccoli as well so I split that between the two of them and then gave them each one spoonful of green beans. Beza ate the beans and then asked for seconds! Wendemagegn  ate them without complaints, I think maybe without even adding Berbere.

We have yet to get Wendemagegn to eat cheese on anything but pizza. He also will choose milk or water over EVERY other drink including soda and Capri-Suns.

Neither one of them will eat hot dogs which, coupled with the no-cheese idea, puts a severe crimp in the easy lunch menu. My summer time staples revolve around hot dogs, corn dogs, grilled cheese sandwiches, cheese crisps (that’s an Arizonan quesadilla) and pizza bites. They just might be getting a lot of peanut butter.

Posted in Our Family, Post-Adoption | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments »

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Five Months Home

May 28, 2009

I just about fell off the planet there didn’t I? Somehow by the end of the day I don’t have enough creative juices left for blog posting it seems.

May, as usual, has been a busy month with Mother’s Day, my birthday and end of the year festivities. The kids made me really cute cards and gifts in school and told me they were glad I was there mom. It warms my heart to hear Beza pray at night “Thank your for mom being my mom and dad being my dad.”

Natalie graduated from kindergarten. The other kids didn’t really get why she got to have a graduation and they didn’t. I’m not really sure why either but oh well.

Both the girls had tears on the night of the last day of school because they were going to miss their teachers. Natalie’s teacher is coming back and will actually move up to second grade and be Beza’s teacher. Beza’s teacher is moving to a different school. So of course Beza felt like Natalie’s tears were not warranted because Mrs. Leary would still be around. “Can I hug her every day?” Natalie asked me. I assured her that Mrs. Leary would love to get a Natalie hug in the mornings.

Wendemagegn keeps asking how long before they go back to school. If only all the kids were that dedicated right?

Last Saturday I was on my way to see my mom in the hospital when Wendemagegn called me to tell me that he had asked Jesus into his heart that morning. Oh did the tears flow, again. It is an amazing thing to see your children come to know Jesus as their Savior and watch that relationship build. Coming from an Ethiopian Orthodox background I had no idea how difficult it would be for our children to understand a different set of beliefs.

Wendemagegn’s flag football team, the Raiders, finished out their season in second place. He had a great time playing for Coach Greg and Coach Dave and really improved his skills over the 8 weeks. He loved to run straight at the defenders and then fake them out at the last minute (I’m sure there is some technical football term for that). We still need to work on the idea of going for the hole in the defenders FIRST and using his fancy footwork as a last resort.

We still have the normal kid issues – sharing, taking terms, etc. We’re also trying to come to grips with the fact that life is NOT fair and no one said it would be :-) The boys are both going to church camp this summer and Beza got a good pout about the fact that it wasn’t fair she couldn’t go (it’s for 3-5th grade). Life is tough, isn’t it.

The boys seem to be getting along better. Part of that is probably attributable to the fact that we adjusted Noah’s ADHD meds. We had a couple really rough months where I thought I might loose my mind. I was chalking all sorts of behaviors up to the adjustment of having two new siblings before it dawned on me that this is exactly the same pattern we go through EVERY time his meds need adjusting. Every time this happens I swear that next time I’ll remember to evaluate the meds before I go insane and every time it takes me weeks and weeks for the light bulb to go off.

We are so blessed to have flexible work schedules this summer so that we can take care of the kids. I’ve shifted my four short days to 3 long days while Dad is home with the kids (and getting some? work done from home). The other two days Mark works while I’ve got the kids. Since Mark works from home I’ve been trying to schedule activities outside the house so that he can have some quiet time. So that means the splash park, free summer movies and hopefully crashing at friend’s houses who have pools.

grad2

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Mother’s Day Prayer

May 11, 2009

My hubby doesn’t write often, but when he does, it’s good. Read about Beza’s Mother’s Day Prayer.

Posted in God's Lessons | Tagged | 2 Comments »

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Stubborn

May 8, 2009

Beza can be quite stubborn when she gets an idea in her head.

Last week at bedtime she glumly looked around the room and said, “Nothing is mine. Everything Natalie’s.” We’ve had this discussion about the bed and I tried to reassure her that the bed is just as much hers, that Natalie had a different bed until right before she came home and so it belongs to her and Natalie. She would have none of it then either.

Natalie, who is so sweet and caring, was quick to reassure her that she considered everything to belong to both of them but Beza just kept repeating “Nothing is mine.” I pointed out her dresser full of clothes. She pointed out Natalie’s little desk and play kitchen. I tried to explain that over the years yes, Natalie has collected quite a few toys, but she also has gotten special things.

I quickly realized the conversation wasn’t going much of anywhere at that hour and so we just moved on.

Sometimes that stubborn mind can be pretty funny too.

A few days ago while we were driving through the neighborhood she saw a couple teenage boys on bikes.

“Mom, I saw that boys panties!”

“Uh huh.”

“Mom, they were princess panties!”

“Beza, he wasn’t wearing princess panties. That was his underwear.”

“No mom, they were sparkly princess panties!”

We went back and forth about 4 times. She refused to concede and so he will forever be known as the boy in the glittery undies.

Posted in Our Family | Tagged | 1 Comment »

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