Archive for July, 2008

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Ready for my girls

July 27, 2008


First I just have to give y’all an update. Remember our group prayer the other night. In the following two days 10 families passed court – including almost all of the “old timers”. Woo hoo! And we’re making in a regular thing.

This weekend I spent most of my time on the girls room. I really wanted to be able to send the kids pictures of their bedrooms in this next package. The girls needed the most work – painting all the furniture. The dressers belonged to my grandparents and the finish on the top was pretty damage. And the oak bunkbeds we bought at a great deal were pretty plain jane. So it all got a coat of “Cashmere White” paint. The dressers even got new drawer handles.

Here’s the “before” – modeled by Natalie.

Here’s a couple “after” shots:

I still plan to do something to try and girly up the bunkbeds a little more. Maybe a stencil or a fabric decal. But that will have to wait until after vacation and school starts.

It’s kind of hard to see, but on B-girls bed is a small stuffed lamb – something we were given at our adoption training (one for each of the kids). When Natalie saw it she went over to it and said, “Ooooh, where’s your owner? You poor lamb. I’ll take good care of you until B-girl gets here.”

Posted in Our Family, The Process | Tagged , , | 7 Comments »

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Remember your beginning

July 22, 2008

Today was a disappointing day for several Hope families who had court dates but did not make it through for one reason or another. A couple of them have had particularly long journeys and so it seems even more disappointing for them and for all of us who are alongside them in this journey.

As news spread on the Hope board, one of our gals called for a time of prayer at 7 p.m. CT and so we joined together in our separate homes, spread across the states and lifted up the families of Hope, especially those trying so hard to make it through court before it closes.

As I fixed dinner for my gang I prayed that God would move in miraculous ways and make himself known, especially to those on this journey who may not be Christians. That God would use us to speak to them in this difficult time.

Shortly after one of the ladies posted a beautiful message on the Hope board that came to her during her time of prayer. It describes this journey so eloquently. I asked Linsey if I could post it here for all of you to read and she agreed.

Each one of us is on a journey. We all started for different reasons, some because of barren wombs, others simply desiring to love a child yet all have been called by God. Called to walk a path that most would never consider.

It is a path you must travel, where your heart is open and vulnerable. You must lay down all your weapons of defense before you are allowed to start your journey. You are required to expose all that you are; your short comings, your faults, and your mistakes all the while convincing someone that you are fit for the task.

You are told ahead of time that the road is long and hard. There will be moments when the path is clear, the road is marked and your strength will be renewed. There will also be moment when you stand in a fog unable to decipher which way to turn and your mind will be clouded with doubt.

In moments like these you need to remember your beginning. Remember that you were called by God. Look up, grasp hold of His fingers, close your eyes, and let the sound of His voice lead you out of the fog. Speak to Him, remind Him of the signs you’ve been given that declare your called journey. In remembering, your faith will rise up.

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Hanging In There

July 21, 2008

Despite our setback, things are still moving along. We got some encouraging news last week.

In previous years adoption papers could not be filed with the Ethiopian courts during court closure. So, obviously, when the courts reopened there was quite a backlog of paperwork.

This year, families are still able to file AND receive a court date (new dates start Oct. 1) during the court closure. Just knowing we won’t have to wait 3 months before hearing a court date has brought me quite a bit of anxiety relief :-)

We also heard from our case manger that our paperwork is “complete” but that something needs to be changed at the “Kebele” office and it is closed for 10 days. (I had to google that word – a Kebele is the “smallest administrative unit of Ethiopia similar to ward, or neighbourhood”.) The AWOP rep will get the papers fixed as soon as it opens and then get the papers to Hope. So we’ll just have to keep on top of that situation.

We’re working on putting together another package for the kids that we can send with Michelle, the director of AWOP, when she leaves for ET in a couple weeks. We wanted to include pictures of the kids bedrooms so that has spurred me on to some action this weekend and we got the girls bunk beds put together. I’ll be painting all their furniture white but w/ our upcoming vacation I knew I wasn’t going to get it done in time. But at least B-girl and W-boy will get to see their beds, etc.

In all, I feel like we’ve done really well in getting over the disappointment with our delay. I’ve adopted a new mantra – “It is what it is.”

That’s a big step for a control freak like me :-)

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RLC Blog Buzz: Paying for Adoption

July 19, 2008

This week’s RLC Blog Buzz question is:

“How do I do this, moneywise?  I want to adopt, but it seems so overwhelming.  We don’t really have $20,000 in the bank, ya know!”  Please blog about your experience, ideas, insight, fundraisers and other ideas that worked for you while raising your adoption money.

I think this questions weighs heavy on everyone’s mind in the beginning stages. Statistics show us that 39% of the US population said they had very or somewhat seriously considered adopting a child at one point in their lives. Only 2% every do and I’m sure that the money issue is a large part of that.

There are a couple other posts I’ve already done that you should read first:

Debt Free Adoption

God’s Blessings

The cost of adoption is going to vary widely depending on where you adopt from, the agency you use, etc. We are adopting two kids and so the cost is a little higher (but not double). In the end when you count everything from getting copies of birth certificates, shots, agency fees, travel, etc. our adoption will cost us $28,000. (Roughly $7,000 of that will be travel costs – flying to Ethiopia isn’t cheap.)

As I stated in my post about a Debt Free Adoption, we committed to completing this adoption without incurring any debt. We knew that might mean selling a car, sell the spa, getting a second job, whatever it took we were just trusting in God.

When we started the process we had about half of the total we needed in our savings. That leaves roughly $14,000 and we needed God to show up big time. Of course he does :-)

We had a huge garage sale with two other adoptive couples. We took donations from friends, family, neighbors. In the end we had about 2 garage fulls of stuff. We had two weekend sales at two different locations for a total of 4 days. We raised $5200. Since then we’ve had one other family garage sale as well.

We’ve sold stuff on ebay. My husband has quite a collection of golf clubs going in the garage that have been waiting to be sold. He’ll find bargains at the thrift stores and clean them up and sell them. I’ve gone through the house and my scrapbooking supplies. So far we’ve made at least $1,000.

I do web and graphic design and I have had quite a few freelance jobs in the last several months that have brought in some extra money as well.

We have cut out a bunch of unnecessary expenses. We hardly ever eat out, I’ve been watching the grocery ads carefully, we’ve cut out all that “extra” spending on impulse items.

We’ve applied for a grant (still waiting to hear) and we also have a “donation grant” set up through Kingdom Kids. This allows people to contribute to our adoption expenses and receive a tax deduction as KK is a 501c3 organization.

Like another RLC blogger mentioned, the expenses don’t just all come at once, which helps in the budgeting. The majority of them are little things here and there that we have always been able to pay for out of checking or savings. Our agencies fees are paid in two sections. One was back in January, the other will be due when we travel. The airline tickets will also be a large expense at once.

We also had friends and family really bless us with an “adoption shower” where we received a ton of the things we need to be ready for the kids.

Bottom line, don’t let money stand in the way if you feel God calling you to adopt. If you are faithful with your finances I truly believe that he will bless you.

You can read all of my posts that have to do with paying for adoption here.

UPDATED: I do not want to, in any way, come across as judging those who use a loan of some sort to pay for their adoption. Adoption is a very personal choice, for some even a calling. Financial stewardship is also very personal and our debt-free commitment follows the debt-free lifestyle we have been living for the last eight years. While the Bible warns repeatedly about debt, it is not a sin (although I believe that poor money management is). If a loan is part of your adoption financing, I would encourage you to look into one of the interest free adoption loans through organizations like The Abba Fund.

Posted in Paying for Adoption, The Process | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments »

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Clickety, clack

July 11, 2008

As I wrote nearly a month ago, adoption is the king of roller coaster rides. We were climbing that big hill, clickety, clack, clickety clack. Just as we were about to reach the crest and plunge down gaining speed, it seems the roller coaster broke. We are stuck.

The adoption coordinator at Hope called today. When she got the list of families who had been filed for court and did not see our names she called their staff in ET. Apparently the paperwork they received from AWOP was incomplete and so we did NOT get filed for court after all.

This means that we will have to wait through the court closure which goes from mid-Aug to October 1. Our paperwork can be filed during this time but we will not get a date until after they open back up on October 1. So our earliest likely travel would be end of November but mid-end of December is likely too.

While the fact that we weren’t even filed was unexpected, having to wait through the closures is not a complete surprise. Yes, of course, we are disappointed. But as always I know that God’s timing is best. There have been so many times in my life that I complained about missing something or the timing of something only to be able to look back months later and say “Duh! Thanks God.”

So I’m looking for the positive in the situation:

  • The kids will get to spend more time with their grandma.
  • Airline tickets will be cheaper.
  • Rainy season, and the mud that goes with it, will be over.
  • It will be beautiful and green in Ethiopia (or so I’ve heard).
  • We have friends who are missionaries in South Africa. Mark spent some time with them on his trip in April and he really wants to take me there on the way. But they won’t be home until this fall. Now maybe we can go see them.
  • Maybe we’ll get to travel with other friends who probably won’t be traveling before courts close – like Jen who is still waiting on a referral, or Becky or Jodi (although I’ll pray they get court dates before closure).
  • The kids will be well settled in their new school.
  • Maybe we’ll actually have time to take a quick family vacation to CA this summer.

I’m sure I’ll think of more things and I’ll come back and add them on the list.

Added 7/12 – More time to learn some Amharic

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Busy day on the Hope board

July 9, 2008


Our adoption agency has a private Yahoo group that is filled with a bunch of amazing people. It’s kind of like a family. We pray for one another, share our struggles and our joys as well.

A couple days ago Grace, our adoption coordinator, arrived home from ET and let us know that the Hope staff filed over 30 families for court dates in the last two weeks. So amazing!

Today the first of those court dates came in. I was at work when I got the first email. I promptly called Mark and said “Make sure you answer the phone, even if it’s a number you don’t recognize.” To which he replied “Does that mean I have to stay home all day.” I was tempted to say “YES!” but I didn’t.

Before you get all excited, we did not get a court date today. Of the 3 families that got dates, one was for August 1st and two were for October 1st, which is after the Ethiopian court reopens. (Sidenote: The courts in ET close for about 8 weeks during the rainy season.)

At first I admit that I was disappointed. This means that even if we get a court date in the next week or so, that it might be for AFTER the closure. I’m sure those two families are partly disappointed.

On the other hand, I was encouraged to know that ET is even assigning post-closure dates. I assumed that either you made it through or you were just stuck in a pile and had to wait til they reopened and then get a court date.

It also means that we know the date the ET courts will reopen and Oct. 1 is a lot earlier than I thought it might be. I thought it was the end of October.

So it could mean 2 additional months. An Oct 1 court date, if passed the 1st time, would mean travel around Nov. 1 – still before the holidays.

So I remain optimistic for a pre-closure court date but am feeling much better about even a post-closure date.

Just trying to leave it all in God’s hands. But I admit to being jumpy every time my cell phone rang :-)

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Look what I can do…

July 8, 2008


So my latest obsession has been researching and reading about caring for B-girl’s hair (well W-boy too but it’s less complicated).

I’ve gotten a couple books – Wavy, Curly, Kinkyy was one and the other was Kinki Kreations. I definitely got more out of the latter. It seemed a little more straight forward in the instructions of caring for the hair – what to do when and how often. Plus it had lots of great hairstyles.

Last time I was at Jen’s house she had done some cute box braids on Rienne’s hair and we were talking about practicing. She was sad that she’d gotten rid of her styling heads from her hairstylist days. It made me think of my daughter’s Barbie Island Princess Styling Head at home. I knew the hair consistency is different but I wondered if it would work.

So tonight while Natalie and I were listening to an audio book at bedtime I sat Rosella in front of me and went to town. (Let me say that the way they create those scalps is a little creepy.) Cornrows have been what intimated me the most so that’s what I tried. The first one was kind of fat and half way down I started braiding over instead of under so I took it out up to that point and redid it. The second one went much better. I think the skinnier they are the easier it is.

Granted Rosella couldn’t complain if I was pulling too hard so I can’t testify to her experience but I was pretty pleased.

I bought some cute snaps and things from Snapaholics and then have been buying different ballies and beads and such at Walmart – little bit at a time.

I’m dying to try all these cute hairstyles on B-girl. Especially the two-strand twists. That looks pretty easy. I also scored a satin pillowcase at the big clean out of my husband’s grandparents house.

Posted in Ethiopia, Our Family, The Process | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments »

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Some Amazing Stories

July 7, 2008

My friends Kim and Brooke just got home from Ethiopia and have written some amazing entries on their blogs. Kim was there to pick up her beautiful 4 year old Netsanet. Brooke was her saving grace and travel companion.

Go read, it will touch your heart.

Kim’s Blog

Brooke’s Blog

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No New News

July 6, 2008

I am suspended in time. Waiting for an e-mail, a phone call, anything.

As far as we know we were filed for court last Monday or Tuesday. It has been taking about 7-10 days to find out what your court date is.

Supposedly the Ethiopian courts will “stop” on July 8th (Tuesday). I don’t know if that means stop accepting filings or stop handing out court dates. They will still hear cases until August 8th (again, this is kind of heresay).

I am trying not to get anxious but I admit that I am nervous. Add to that the fact that last week of 4 families with court dates only one passed court. The other two were delayed until July 18th for some reason. If we get a court date toward the end of the month and don’t pass the first time, we could very well get stuck in the court closure.

Of course we are not the only family feeling this pressure. It is very evident among the adoptive families. One family is adopting two older girls who have been in the orphanage for over a year – longer than any other kids there. They are desperate to get them home soon, as they should be.

I find some peace of mind knowing that if we do not make it through before courts W-boy and B-girl will not be spending the extra time at an orphanage. It will, in fact, mean extra time with their grandmother.

There have been 2 major delays in our adoption process. First the approximately 3 weeks we lost when AWOP wanted us to switch to Children’s House International. Then we lost about another 3 weeks recently when our papers were not getting from the AWOP representative in ET to the Hope lawyers in ET.

That’s 6 weeks. It could definitely mean the difference between making court and not. I know that the first 3 week delay was one that was a result of obedience to what I felt God telling me. Thought I can’t explain the second one, I realize that it too may be God’s hand in delaying our process.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not giving up. I’m hoping he was just using those to teach me patience or something. We serve an almighty God who can accomplish the impossible. I rest in the knowledge that he sees the big picture and he controls this whole process.

Posted in The Process | Tagged | 2 Comments »

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Welcome Home Netsanet!

July 2, 2008

Tonight I got the great privilege of going to the airport with Jen to welcome home Kim and beautiful Netsanet. She had a tortuous trip home (not because of Nettie but because she was flying standby all the way from Ethiopia). Her bags are still in Germany but she and Nettie are here safe and sound!

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